We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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