i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
