if you like me you must not know who I am
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
