my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
