how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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