Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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