Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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