What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
