The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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