I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
