so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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