No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
