I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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