I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
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I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
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yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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