I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
