She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
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It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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