You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
