O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
