Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
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Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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