You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
