The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
