She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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