at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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