doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize