my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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