plz talk dirty to me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
