Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
