I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
