so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
