I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
