At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
