Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize