sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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