That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
