I forgot how hot balto sounded
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
