i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
