I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
