I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
