I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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