I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
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When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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