i just sent this text using only my big toe
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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