Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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