hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
