Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
