so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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