He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
