Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Little spoons don't ask big questions
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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