woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
