god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he had hair everywhere except his balls
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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