i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
