who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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