If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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