I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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